I'm a little desperate when it comes to karate. I've never really thought of myself as an obsessive kind of person. For reasons that I will not bore you with, I know how trying those kids of people are and I couldn't possibly be like that! (wink) Still, I have been known to jump into a conversation about karate at the least provocation; I practice my ushiro kake geri in the living room and carry makiwara in the trunk of my car. Come to think of it, if I have the misfortune of getting stuffed into the trunk of my car, I can always pick the lock with one of my sai because they are in there too, along with the rest of my gear. I'm always ready to rock a nunchaku kata. So, it gets pretty rough for me when I miss a few classes.
A few years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The diagnosis was a long time coming and I'd suffered with a bizarre combination of symptoms for years before everything else was ruled out. I read what I could find about it and upon discovering that I wasn't as bad off as many were; I managed life as well as I could. I worked on surviving when I was in a flare and did everything else on those days that I felt normal. Things become very limited when you have an illness as unpredictable as fibromyalgia. It's very hard to plan anything when you don't know if you'll feel good enough to even dress yourself that day or not. I focused on my family and everything else became optional. I found that I could teach my children history and literature, reading, spelling, geography and math from the sofa if I had to, and a collection of crock-pot meals would give my family a good meal with the least amount of effort on those days when I didn't have any strength to give much of one.
In the summer of 2008, after we had settled in our "new" home, I was flaring every 9 or 10 days. I tried to catch up on the days I felt good only to dive into another 3 days bout with pain and fatigue. It was not only physically stressful but incredibly depressing. I've always been sort of independent and enjoyed a certain amount of activity and now I was staring at a future that included shopping for groceries from the seat of a scooter.
It was then that daughter decided she'd like to go back to karate and my husband found a class in Pell City with reasonable monthly dues. I'd like to tell you that I was very happy and excited but truthfully, I was not. I had been worried about feeling good enough to make it to the grocery store and now twice a week I would have to drive all the way to Pell City; the thought was overwhelming. Still, as all parents do, you suck it up and do for your kids.
We were really pleased by both the professionalism of the instructors and the warm welcome that the whole class gave Shiloh. She enjoyed the class and we signed her up. As we were leaving, one of the students asked when I was going to join the class. I laughed. "It would kill me." I told him. He had no way of knowing how serious I was. It might not kill me, but if walking around the block was enough to throw me into a flare for days, I could only imagine what karate would do to me. They wouldn't let me slide, though. The next class, I was reminded that I could take 2 free classes to see if I liked it. The class after that, I was asked where my sweat pants were, that I obvuiously couldn't do karate in jeans. See, the secret is that I've always been fascinated by the martial arts and wanted to take karate as a kid, so it didn't take much to break me down. I figured I'd take a class and when I went into a flare, I'd have a good excuse to back out, but at least I could say that I tried.
The first class, I was taught a nunchaku kata, which was really cool. We also did sit-ups, push-ups, kicks, punches and a kata with a long name I didn't think I'd ever remember. I worked out harder in that class than I had in years. Strangely, though I felt good when I left that night. The next day, I woke up unable to move. It was sore muscles though, and not the same, burning pain that fibromyalgia gives me. The next class came up and I showed up in sweat pants, ready to workout. We did bag work that night. I had no idea how freeing it was to just hit something as hard as I could. By the end of the class, I was in love with karate. When the next day didn't bring on a fibro-flare, I told my husband that I had to sign up.
I must've been the lamest student Mr. Miller and Mr. McCullars has ever had, and I 'm sure the most uncoordinated. I'd like to say that has changed as I've gotten more experienced but my spinning kicks still throw me off balance and sometimes I go off into my own kata. But it has given me back my life, or at least the quality of life that I had before fibromyalgia. For an entire year my symptoms were almost non-existent. I like to say that I went into a remission of sorts. Of course, I had a couple of bad days after really physically and mentally stressful situations like testing, but otherwise, I was managing very well. Then in the fall of 2009, I tore my ACL and had to have surgery. I could hardly wait the 2 months until I could go back to class and I diligently did all my rehab everyday. Unfortunately, fibromyalgia was just hibernating and in the months since, the old aches have crept back. I am still managing very well and I refuse to give up karate class although there are the occasional times when I have to miss.
There are people that tell me that running will do the same for me…or Zumba…or Jazzercise, but a person with fibromyalgia has to love something enough to work through a lot of pain and push through a lot of fatigue and frustration to get where I am and only karate has done that for me. So, when I say I'm a little desperate when it comes to karate, I mean, for me right now, karate = health…so I guess I am.
